Heavy Hearts but A God Who Loves

I've got a heavy heart for many reasons this week and I am reminded of how precious and fragile life is. I too often forget how important each moment is. After this week, I was encouraged of God's plan and how I fit. While reading my #SheReadsTruth devo this morning, I came across this. 

I, Ashleigh Wallace, have been sent on a special assignment by Christ as part of God's master plan. 

Thankful for this encouragement today. Thankful for good friends. Thankful for friends who support each other and love each other when life seems to slip away from us. 

Xoxo, Ash

Tanner Duke September 1, 1998 - January 25, 2014.

WBC, Frustration and Grace.

I was reading through some Huffington Post articles today and I came across 'Westboro Baptists Will Picket Paul Walker's Funeral' and my heart instantly broke into a million pieces.. And then I got frustrated. Yes, yes, I know, I shouldn't lost my temper with these articles and headlines but it just gets to me. It gets to me because I have this amazing God who has revealed Himself to me over the past 4 years and I have fallen more and more in love with Him. It's been a crazy ride - and I haven't always stuck to his path - but it's been worth it. I've grown into a girl who understands where my beauty comes from: Him. I am accepted and loved by Him, and it's all that matters. I have relationships with true friends who walk with Christ and strive to be like Christ with me, making the journey that much easier.
This God that I've come to know, doesn't seem to be the same one that they've begun to follow.
A few minutes before that I had read an article (and shared it on my Facebook page) called 'What People Are Really Thinking When They Invite You To Church' and this article struck me with a quote that embodied my walk with Christ completely.  

The people that invite you to church are just like that friend that insists that you try the new Puerto Rican restaurant downtown, they have experienced something amazing and they want it for you too. It's like that, but on almighty steroids. When a friend or a kindly stranger, a relative or a playgroup parent, says "Hey, why don't you come to church with me on Sunday?" what they mean is "I love you so much, I cannot describe what I know you can get from this because I can't even put into words what it has done for me." We understand that when you live in a world of sneaky advertising and suspicious sales scams, this sounds like just another one. But, it isn't.

The fall semester of my 8th grade year, an amazing Wyldlife leader, Aarika Stanton, invited me to go to 608 at Southland. Although I don't call Southland my home church anymore, I encountered a young, Christian community that was running towards the cross with me. A first in my life. 
I think that's why I am so frustrated with WBC and the image they have. They condemn the world. They push their views on the world in pickets and protests of funerals. I've learned that my Father pushes me and asks me to just love them. Relentlessly; just like He's loved me. I've battled against a Satan who knows my name but calls me by my sin. A Satan who condemns and hates and attempts to keep me surrounded in my sin. The God I know, the all-knowing, all-powerful God I've decided to follow, knows my sin but chooses to call me BY NAME. I have walked away from Him, turned against His path laid out for me and chosen to try life on my own, and all of them left me empty. Yet, when I realize I need Him and His help, He welcomes me back into His arms openly. Again and again. No questions asked. 
He's got abundant grace just waiting for us. How amazing is that?
Xoxo, Ash

Carrots

It's taken about 24 hours to fully decompress from Happening #51, and after each minute I become more and more aware of what happened this weekend and how uniquely special it is. I never expected this past weekend to end up the way it did. 
I hadn't taken the time lately to realize just how far I had wandered from the path set out for me and how that was slowly hardening my heart to love. This weekend sure did the trick; I have never felt to surrounded and uplifted with genuine, complete love in my entire life. 
Having the chance to basically wash feet all weekend was beautiful. I got to wake up in the morning and wash feet over and over again for 15 straight hours; I got to share, expand and talk about God's kingdom for 15 straight hours. I have never felt more blessed and thrilled to have walked beside so many faithful and beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ. 
These moments are unique and exclusive to that mountain and that family that was there this past weekend. It can never be duplicated or reenacted. 
I will never be able to thank the staff, steering committee and happeners enough for who they are and what they did for me this weekend. I so beautifully saw God through every smile, hug and laugh.
This weekend I'm thankful for I Won't Give Up, roadtrips, comfy chairs, butterfly wings, brown paper bags, silent hypes, Unashamed Love and journeys. 

We came as strangers and left as a family.

I think I got what a taste of Heaven was like this past weekend. And I can't wait to share it with you. All my love and carrots, Ash. Xoxo.

Coming Full Circle

3rd post in 3 days.. I'm feeling on top of things and it's great :) Today I signed up for the Race for the Cure with my mom and dad; I've participated in the race multiple times before but after the past year, but it has acquired an entirely new meaning. I had never had the immediate connection in my family to breast cancer, but it had clearly impacted families around me. Being able to walk with my mom this year will be something I wont ever forget.

On November 12, 2012, I would've never pictured this situation playing out the way it has. I have a new found respect for my sweet mom and all the sacrifices she makes to keep my family afloat. Those 40 days put into perspective how important she is to me and how amazing of a woman she is. She put on her bravest face for me & my brothers, when I know it was an extremely hard thing for her to do for us. Hindsight is always 20/20, and sometimes I wonder if I'd be who I am without this past year. 

I'm excited to see where this year takes my family and more importantly, my mom. I hope we continue to realize how important our time together is and continually make her feel special for who she is. 

Here's a website for you to donate if you can't make it out to the Race for the Cure on October 5th, but if you can - do! 

  

Jeremiah 29:11 always gets it right:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 I hope y'all race for the cure. Happy Tuesday & all my love. 

First Week of School & Hard Decisions

YAY it's Saturday! So happy to finally be finished with the first week of school.. I forget how much I look forward to the weekends during the school year! It was great to be reunited with lots of friends I hadn't seen in a while & to get started on my insane class load for this year. I'm excited about every bit of it. 
Along with all of my classes, junior year has already brought hard decisions and choices in my life that will change the course of my year, no doubt. I've got a heavy heart when it comes to making this decision. But, I feel relieved sticking to my gut & going in the direction I've decided, but there's always the voice in the back of my head that pulls me back & reminds me of the regret I could feel afterwards. In my mind, I'm hoping a big risk may bring big rewards. But we'll have to wait it out & see. 
Last night, I had such a sweet conversation in the car with one of my best friends, Janie Poulton. It was so amazing to see how God was intertwined in everything we said to each other and how much she supports me in life, no matter what. It was one of those moments where I'm reminded of just how much I'm cared for. My heart was so full. The conversation reminded me of a quote off the back of my camp's staff shirts:  

Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not hurt.

Janie had an opportunity to convince me to change my decision, to give me grief for what I chose, or blow me off for how I felt. But in that moment, she decided to love me & I couldn't be more thankful.. It was a blessing in a day full of not-so-great moments. 
Joshua 1:9 was a nice reminder today.

This blog post is the epitome of a jumbled mess, but that's okay. It's a pretty good depiction of my mind at the moment. I hope y'all are having a wonderful day. Enjoy this pretty Saturday! Xoxo, Ash. 
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I forgot, I thought I might add a few pictures from the first day of school. We were all pretty darn cute!

Moo & I on our first day of junior year!

The group text on the first day!